Found Me

More about Found Me

My rough edges are showing ever more obvious. I am still aggressive, yell, roar, antagonize, I pleading with myself once again...

Patterns that claw at me, I have come a long way, yet far to go. One step peeling back a bit more of my cage.

I gain space from these patterns, allow my mind to grow. I know I am still too far from an acceptable phase.

I am a bit too prickly, my rough edges show. I know In the moment I must let them go. Balance has never felt so good, yet I still am not done, edges must be let go. Old habits must die, where's my balance?

I have asked myself many times to let them go. Still they show. Healing takes time, I must allow for mending to take place. I know I must make time alone, in nature. Maybe with another one that I truly wish to spend time with. I know it will take time for her to join me, she also prepares for the same.

I must let go of my yelling, and lost ways. I make mountain out of mole hills. In this way I am still in the woods. I must do better, I must not allow others to make me feel as if I am a disgrace.

It is never more clear, where I live hasn't been my home for quite sometime. I see my ugliness when I reflect anger, it is sadness, I cannot hide.

I will make steps to distance myself from this place, from these ways. For me to heal I must have my own place, time, intention, nature.

I will not bring this trauma, I will let this go. I meditate on my mirrorball.

Over a dance of many lifetimes we loose each other across chronological divides, only to find one another. In lives spent together I know only truth of cosmic patterns. I must do better, I know I will drop these ill fated patterns in self induced sabotage. Could it happen quicker? Rushing it will make it only worse.

While I am disappointed I was able to be goaded one more time on this dystopic carousel. I realize this same carousel led me to find my soulmate.

Although I know allowing this pattern to control my actions is stilly. I see I am able to regain balance, smoothing more quickly then ever before.

My partner gives me strength to fix myself. I never have been so grateful to have found the true reason I have been placed on this planet. For my whole life I questioned why I have been here. While mending isn't like flipping a switch, it comes in waves.

As I re-center myself, I dream of a future so serene.

The same mistakes made but new understanding gained. Once again grace washes over me, I feel peace come back to me stronger than before.

Forever Loved,
Aaron Baker

PS. I try, try, try once more. Nothing comes easy in this life of mine. Healing my inner child is no different. The only thing now that is I am confident in my healing, knowing it's tied to yours, unbreaking, rebuilding. Cocooned, now I know your hand to be proud in mine is what my soul craves.

1 Nature View Dedicated 4 Taylor Alison
11ov3 Aaron David
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