The 10 Years Void

Serene figure in flowing fabric by a tranquil pool
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3
  • Emiliano Girina's avatar Artist
    Emiliano G...
  • Prompt
    Read prompt
  • DDG Model
    FluX
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    Public
  • Created
    13h ago
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More about The 10 Years Void

There’s something inside me that’s tearing me apart.

I don’t know what it is — maybe it lives somewhere in that vast oblivion of memories stretching from childhood to youth, a place so deep and eroded that even light seems afraid to enter.
Some people have told me I should try to remember, to dig, to face it. But I’m not sure I agree. What kind of monstrosity makes you forget a quarter of your own life? There was the cold indifference of my parents, the violence, the sleep deprivation, the constant neglect — being invisible, unwanted, an accident that somehow kept breathing. Left untreated even when dying, not by fate but by someone’s choice.

Now that I’m no longer young, now that the rage and hatred that once drove me have faded, now that age has sharpened my sight instead of dimming it, I can finally look inside. And what I see isn’t peace — it’s exhaustion. Because when I loosen the reins, when I stop holding everything together, something awakens.

A thing without name or face — not rage, not regret, but something far older, darker. It rises with one purpose only: to wound.

Sometimes I tremble. Sometimes flickers of memory cut through me like shards of glass. I don’t know what it is, but after a while, I always find a way to cage it again. I’ve learned how to make the monster sleep. But I know, deep down, it will never die.
There are traumas that can’t be repaired. People aren’t porcelain — with us, kintsugi doesn’t work. The cracks don’t make us more beautiful, nor do they add worth. Sometimes, they’re just cracks — silent proof that something once broke too deeply to ever be made whole again.

–– The Spoken Silence

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