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The Goblin Honeymoon
Many stories are told about goblins in the Shadowwoods—that they like to play pranks, that they drink unimaginable amounts of root beer, and that you'd better not leave your shoes unattended when a goblin is around. But Hink and Lira's story stands out even among goblins: the story of their honeymoon. Their wedding itself was unusual. Instead of celebrating in a cave with moss garlands, they had decided to keep the festivities as short as possible. "Why dance when you can fly?" Hink said, trying to balance his much too small top hat on his head. Lira, whose veil was so large that it constantly tickled the guests at the cake buffet, nodded enthusiastically. They agreed: their honeymoon should be an adventure. So that same evening, they boarded the family's old, steam-powered fish—a creaking, metal machine with copper fins and a mouth that emitted little puffs of smoke with every thrust. No sooner had they taken off than Lira's veil fluttered through the air like a wild bunting, wrapping itself around Hink's head several times. "I can't see anything!" he cried, desperately trying to hold on to the steering handle. "Then steer by ear!" Lira called back, laughing and clutching her bouquet of glowing wildflowers. The journey began chaotically. Hink tried to orient himself using his map, but was holding it upside down. "We're flying straight to Roselight Valley!" he announced proudly. Seconds later, the fish crashed into a swarm of singing fireflies, glowing so brightly they both looked like walking lanterns. "Pure romance!" exclaimed Lira, while Hink coughed and knocked sparks off his hat. Their route continued through dense forests. At one point, they landed in a treetop as wide as a marketplace. "A perfect rest stop!" said Lira, but as soon as she sat down, her veil caught on a gnarled branch. Hink tried to loosen it with the frying pan from his travel bag, but got tangled up in it himself. In the end, the newlyweds hung upside down next to each other, laughing until they cried and vowing never to wear formal attire while traveling again. The next morning, the fish guided them to a valley full of honey bubbles guarded by giant bees. "Sweets for the wedding guests!" Lira cheered, jumping out to catch one. Unfortunately, the bubble stuck so tightly to her hands that Hink had to pull it back into the fish with all his strength. In the process, he lost his hat, which is still worn in the valley by a particularly proud bee. They spent the nights among twinkling stars. Lira claimed she could draw new constellations from the sparks in her bouquets. "Do you see up there?" she said, "that's the big Hink—with a belly and a hat!" Hink snorted, but secretly he was touched. So it went on: They encountered mist creatures who tried to show them the way, but each time their voice was so unclear that Hink flew by feel.
