Yacatisma, the Watch-Dog (Flea) of the Church of Bob

More about Yacatisma, the Watch-Dog (Flea) of the Church of Bob

(as recorded in the Blurred Testament of Rev. Stang, Apocrypha 7½)

Yacatisma is not technically a “dog,” nor technically a “flea,” but rather an excommunicated household parasite of Divine Slack, grown titanic through centuries of absorbing discarded televangelist signals, roadside revival frequencies, and the psychic dandruff of prophets who never quite made it past local cable access.

Missioned by Bob himself—between a cigarette drag and an unpaid power bill—Yacatisma prowls the liminal streets of SubGenius cities, sniffing out False Slack, counterfeit miracles, and anyone who has failed to tithe at least one conspiracy theory per lunar cycle.

Its segmented armor is said to be composed of:
• broken CB radio casings
• VHS tape shell fragments
• and the plates of extinct televangelistic insects

Each joint hums with the muffled static of a thousand failed prophecies.

Citizens claim that when Yacatisma appears, the streetlights flicker in Morse code spelling:
“ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION OR JUST PAYING?”

The creature not only devours metaphors, but bites actual ankles.