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The cyclic low of cyclothymic disorder seems to be in effect the last few days. Inexplicable fatigue, depression, and irritation are permeating all of my interactions, although I try to contain it. I feel as if I will have no passion, nor joy ever again. I know this is not real, and it will pass. That does not diminish how real this feels. Every movement of my muscles feels like I'm held back, as if I were trying to move under water. I have to just keep pushing myself forward without any motivation or will to do so. In a day or two, all will be fine again.
The writer describes experiencing symptoms of cyclothymic disorder, feeling fatigue, depression, and irritability. They struggle with lack of passion and joy, feeling like they're moving underwater. Despite the challenges, they acknowledge it will pass and strive to keep pushing forward until things improve.