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"Many Sights to See, Evil Spells to hear and fall prey to, Orders to Disobey that you may bear Nephilim that will bring trouble to your settlements, Nature that will influence you to believe in that filthy web of lies known simply as Science. This, this "Science" or the desire to knoweth things you are not intended to know "knowledge" of such sinful constructs that deceiveth will truly lead you into the mucky mire, soiling your garments that you did not need to wear until Eve ate that apple and your brats Cain and Abel. Again, such mischief! Oh, you all make me so mad, I could just cover this land in water, casting you into hell, and be done with it, I just love you so much. This is still all your fault, but I still love you, even if you're all a bunch of vagabonds, harlots, thieves, vandals and that does it. Give me this chart back! Now goeth from my house, "Funniest Home Videos in All the Land" has restorative properties to my mood, and your eventual apocalypse will be delayed another week, if it is particularly funny. Why you heathen can't be like those delightful minstrels in those videos, I'll never know. Now, out! OUT!"
