Prompt: A Portrait of a Person, Their Thoughts, and Feelings in Bipolar Disorder To describe the inner world of a person with Bipolar Disorder (BD) is to describe **life on a swing**, where the amplitude of the oscillations goes far beyond normal human experiences.
To visualize it: an **average person** is like a car driving on a smooth road, occasionally accelerating uphill and slowing down downhill.A **person with BD** is like a race car with two broken pedals: the gas pedal is stuck to the floor (no brakes), and the brake pedal locks the wheels at full speed, while the steering wheel has some play in it. Below is a detailed picture of the three states (mania, depression, and the space in between), broken down into appearance, the world of thoughts, and the world of feelings.
The UPSWING Phase (Mania / Hypomania)This state is often mistaken for happiness, but it is actually a **raging fire** that burns through the body's resources.
Person **Eyes:** Wide open, sparkling, pupils dilated. The gaze is "burning," but it doesn't focus on the interlocutor; instead, it constantly "scans" the environment.
- **Speech and Body:** The person speaks non-stop, swallowing words, jumping from topic to topic. Hands are constantly in motion – gesticulation is chaotic; they may spin in a chair, jump up, pace back and forth. Facial expressions are very active, often with a strained, unnatural smile.lothing/Grooming):** Often careless or, conversely, flashy and provocative. They might apply heavy makeup, wear off-season clothing, simply because they "felt like it." The need for sleep disappears – the person may not sleep for 2-3 days but still look "alert."**The World of Thoughts (Mental Noise):**
Thoughts race at bullet speed. This is not a dialogue but a **kaleidoscope**. One idea replaces another in a split second: *"I need to buy paint -> Call mom -> What if I start my own business? -> I'm definitely a genius -> Oh, a bird outside the window, I need to write a book about it."* Subjectively, it feels as if intelligence has soared to the heavens. The person believes they've found answers to all the universe's questions. **Self-criticism shuts down:** There are no thoughts about the consequences of their actions. They feel invincible.The World of Feelings and Sensations (The Emotional Scheme): Euphoria that quickly turns into **unbearable tension**. The nervous system is running at full capacity.
- Irritability: any attempt by others to "ground" the person triggers an outburst of rage or aggression, because it is perceived as an obstacle to greatness. A feeling that there is a fountain of energy inside, about to burst through the chest. This is not pleasure; it is **frenzy**. The DOWNSWING Phase (Depression)
This is not sadness. This is a state where the very **energy of life** disappears. If mania is fire, then depression is a frozen void.
The Person Eyes:** Dull, "glassy," fixed on one point (the floor or the wall). They avoid eye contact because looking at people is too exhausting.- **Speech and Body:** The body feels like cotton or concrete. Movements are severely slowed (psychomotor retardation) or, conversely, the person cannot sit still due to agony (agitation). Speech is quiet, sparse, with long pauses; the voice is monotone. - **Appearance
Dream Level: is increased each time when you "Go Deeper" into the dream. Each new level is harder to achieve and
takes more iterations than the one before.
Rare Deep Dream: is any dream which went deeper than level 6.
Deep Dream
You cannot go deeper into someone else's dream. You must create your own.
Deep Dream
Currently going deeper is available only for Deep Dreams.
