Sack Wars (Ver.1)

More about Sack Wars (Ver.1)

[FADE IN: Deep space. A lone, massive sack-shaped moon drifts past. Ominous choir builds.]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
In a galaxy stretched to its limits… a new hero must rise.

[Quick cuts: Stars streaking. A cloaked figure stands atop a rocky cliff. A single glowing sack saber ignites with a hum.]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
The ancient prophecy of the Groinwalker was thought lost…

[Dramatic orchestral swell. Close-up: STRETCHY BALLS ARMSTRONG — jaw clenched, veins bulging, his hands gripping a glowing sack saber. Sparks fly as it powers up.]

NARRATOR (V.O.):
But one man’s sack… can change the fate of the universe.

[Beat drop: Percussion hits. Rapid montage.]

Stretchy Balls Armstrong, now Lance Skrotalight, dueling with Dark Sacklords on molten cliffs.

A giant orbital battle where ships shaped like testicular pods collide in an explosion of plasma.

A hooded figure with a deep voice: “Join the Dark Sack… or be unraveled!”

Slow-motion shot: Lance unleashes the Sacral Stretch Technique™, his sack saber extending into a blinding beam.

Cut to a wise old Groinwalker Master: “Remember, Lance… the stretch must flow through you…”


[Music softens, rising strings. Close-up: Lance gazes at twin moons, one shaped like a nut, the other like a bolt.]

LANCE SKROTALIGHT (whispers):
“May the Stretch be with us all.”

[BOOM. Smash cut: Logo appears in gold, huge impact rumble.]