An Abstract Bouquet of Abstract Feelings

More about An Abstract Bouquet of Abstract Feelings

She carried the flowers because feelings are difficult to carry by themselves.

You can’t walk down the street holding loneliness in both hands. People become suspicious. But put loneliness inside some red flowers and suddenly everybody thinks you are going somewhere beautiful.

The bouquet contained several emotions she couldn’t identify. One resembled love but had arrived too late. Another might have been regret, though it smelled faintly of summer rain and old hotel rooms. There was also a small white flower that seemed to have absolutely no opinion about anything.

She liked that one best.

Behind her, the world had been divided into squares, circles, rectangles, and little golden arguments about where everything belonged. Geometry was trying very hard to organize existence.

It wasn’t succeeding.

Far away, two ships floated on a quiet sea. They had been sailing toward each other for years without getting any closer. This is common with ships and people.

She pressed her face deeper into the flowers.

For a moment she remembered somebody.

Then she remembered that remembering somebody is not the same as having them there.

The red flowers grew brighter.

The black squares grew darker.

Somewhere inside the bouquet was a Tuesday afternoon from twenty years ago, still perfectly preserved. Somewhere else was a kiss nobody had understood correctly. A yellow leaf contained three seconds of happiness. The roses were keeping secrets.

She wondered whether emotions ever really disappear or whether they simply change disguises.

Perhaps grief becomes architecture.

Perhaps desire becomes weather.

Perhaps love, after enough time, becomes a landscape with two little ships on it.

She stood there holding the whole ridiculous arrangement against her heart while the universe continued drawing lines through everything.

The little white flower remained silent.

It knew better.