The Hostage (with poem)

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  • Debbie Eh?'s avatar Artist
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    9h ago
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More about The Hostage (with poem)

The dryer sent a ransom note.
With words all big and red.
The threat was very obvious,
And this is what it said:

I have your argyle sock (Real wool!
No cheap synthetics for you!)
If you ever want to see it again,
There are things that you must do!

Stop trying to stuff a single load
With thirteen towels or better!
And clean the lint trap, for heaven's sake!
I just coughed up a sweater!

Stop blaming me for shrinkage
And implying I'm unstable!
It's not my fault you loaded me up
And didn't read the label!

No more sneakers on tumble dry -
They trigger my "Uneven Load".
And tell the washer to settle down -
Or that spin-bitch can hit the road!

When you agree to all my terms,
Set "Warm" on my settings control,
Recite the alphabet backwards,
Then swallow a pilchard whole.

**Do not look for the sock - the sock will find you.**

©2025 by HOPELESS (Highly Original Poetry Expressed Loudly and Eternally Searching for Sense)

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