The Computer Goblin That Slows Down Your PC

More about The Computer Goblin That Slows Down Your PC

This is a rare and dangerous subspecies of goblin that can be found nesting in some desktop PCs.

If your PC is getting really slow, it could mean that one or more of these things is hiding inside of your computer.

The only way to get rid of them is to put a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on your keyboard and say "Come out, come out, wherever you are! Accept my offering of yummy food!". The goblin and it's family will then emerge from the USB port and begin eating the sandwich. When this happens, you must take the sandwich outside of your house and dump it in the closest river. The goblins should have followed you to the river and dove into the river to get the sandwich.


[note: If the goblin doesn't follow you to the river, it's because you're dealing with a "Smooch Goblin". The only way to get rid of them is to... well, I don't actually know... but hey, that type is REALLY rare. (the "Smooch Goblin" doesn't even slow down your PC, anyway, so if you find one, just leave it a cookie, and you'll be fine :) ) ]